Before the conversation
Know what you need to achieve
Conversation structure
Keep the tone constructive
Start with relationship.
Open with concern for the child, not the percentage.
Open with concern for the child, not the percentage.
Be curious before being certain.
Ask what is getting in the way and what the family thinks would help.
Ask what is getting in the way and what the family thinks would help.
Stay specific.
Use dates, patterns and impact. Avoid labels such as “uncooperative”, “lazy” or “doesn't care”.
Use dates, patterns and impact. Avoid labels such as “uncooperative”, “lazy” or “doesn't care”.
Preparation coach
Choose the situation you are facing
The tool changes the suggested language to help staff respond calmly and professionally.
Language bank
Useful phrases
Live support
What has the parent just said?
Try saying
Enter the parent's comment and select Suggest a response.
Avoid
Avoid arguing about who is “right”. Keep returning to the pupil, the barrier and the next practical step.
During the meeting
Questions worth asking
What do mornings look like?Explore the practical sequence, not just the outcome.
When does school feel hardest?Look for lessons, transitions, people, places or times.
What has helped even a little?Find exceptions and build from what already works.
What could school do differently?Make the responsibility genuinely shared.
What is one realistic next step?Agree something small enough to happen.
De-escalation
If the conversation becomes difficult
Acknowledge: “I can hear how frustrating this has been.”
Refocus: “Can we come back to what will make tomorrow morning more manageable?”
Boundary: “I want to continue this conversation, but I need us to speak respectfully to each other.”
End safely if necessary: If there is threatening, abusive or unsafe behaviour, follow the school's procedures and rearrange with appropriate support.
Finish well
Record the agreement
Agreed actions
Conversation record
Attendance Conversation Summary
Concern
Not yet entered.
Known context
Not yet entered.
Shared understanding
Not yet entered.
Parent/carer view
Not yet entered.
School support
Not yet entered.
Agreed actions
No actions recorded.
This tool supports professional preparation and communication. It does not replace safeguarding, SEND, medical, attendance or legal procedures. Where a child may be at risk, or a parent raises a new safeguarding concern, follow your school's safeguarding arrangements immediately.